from a frnd to a frnd's frendi

Was listening to all of life rustling by
Dripping through the green fields, whistling by
And there came a stare which had me hooked
And up into the stars for her I looked

The Durg Diary

12: 42 a.m.I think I am getting it. Also losing some sense of motion. Everything is kind of freaking out with me. [Good decision]

It seems I am sitting as the same posture as while sitting on table and dibbi during by gone recent mids – only more attentive here.

Aim -> To just document what it feels like. For analysis of only for using... and not self – ‘’’. Plz.



12:45 a.m. Started, “Wake up, Sid”
Desperately wanted to see a movie since I started this high thing.
Started “Inglorious Basterd”
Feeling dryness of throat very fastly now.
Don’t remember my 2nd layer of thoughts at all, which makes my head heavy.
Am Groping at food like mad man.
Started
Change Movie :- Oye Lucky Lucky Oye
Remembered Uncle Agarwal – Kolkata
Mockery of Aaj Tak.
Abhay Deol – Like (Thumbs Up)
Much more calm now.
Also not concerned about 2nd layer of thoughts
Car Crash Sound – Saying Love
Saw Birharua
Saw Madarcln.
Flirty & sweet
His father died – Sum1
Bent on girls
Wants to buy everything?
Boy tries to get out everything
Boy is confident &
Dirty waiter
Brings wrong carol.
Man – Like a friend. Doesn’t like

Hand is paining. So stopping.
Me -> I want more action than thought.
12:50 a.m.

Convoluted and abstracted, he fought to believe in his belief – alchemy. In the moments of his happiness, he sought the grey. In his sadness, he looks to sympathise. It gave him satisfaction. But a thing of wonder – happiness was not so much there. Not able to enjoy in the company he liked and at the same time wants to hang out and be there.
Questioning just about everything and confusing himself further and thinking more philosophical unconsciously. Perhaps only a few things, he likes, about himself – but they exist.
Signed - The Anguished Angst.